Ben with a flat tire, spare flat tire, dead cell phone....

I got an email today from something that happened a few months ago.   

It was early morning and after dropping Riva off a early retreat, I was taking Judah to breakfast before taking him to Sunday school and then playing pick-up basketball at Marymont.  We were driving down Highway 154 when I made eye contact with a guy on the side of the road by his car in the rain.  

I pulled over and asked him what’s wrong.  He said he got a flat.  He asked by any chance if I was going to Ventura (he lived in Simi) and I said no.   I asked him if he had a spare and he said the spare was flat too.   I asked if he had someone to call and he said unfortunately his cell phone is dead.   

I told him I could take him to the tire shop.   He laughed and said ‘You want to hear what the worst of this is?   After a long pause, I asked him ‘Um…what could be worse?”  He said that he was at the Chumash Casino and blew all his money.   

 I shook my head and said ‘Ok let me get this right... two flat tires in the rain, dead cell phone and coming back from the casino blowing all his money.   You like living life on the edge?’   

He laughed saying how stupid he was and that wasn’t probably wasn’t the worst of it.  I He said that his girlfriend just had his baby and is far away in Mexico.

“Oh boy…” I said.

I asked what his plan was now.   He wanted to know if he could leave his car there until he come back to pick it up somehow.  A cop drove by and said he could leave it there 72 hours. 

He asked if I could take me to the bottom of the hill where he could find a phone booth.  I said what are you going to do – no money, no tire, etc?   He said he’ll figure it out.

After a long pause, I said ‘Put the tire in the car and I’ll take my son back to Sunday school and then take you to the tire shop and you can pay me back later’

He was so happy and told me how he was from Yugoslavia and going to tell his parents how wonderful someone was helping him out.   We talked and I ask him what he learned today?  That his gambling days are over?   He went on about that he was never going to gamble again and how stupid he’s been and he’s inspired to change his life around. 

When we were at the tire shop at Costco waiting for it to open, I told him I was on my way to play basketball after taking son to breakfast.  He said he played basketball and soccer and was from Yugoslavia and telling me about how great his crossover move was.

‘Hmmm….stay there’ I told him as I went back to the car to get the basketball and gave it to him and said “Ok I’ll guard you now.”  Sure enough he had a good crossover move.

After taking him back to the car and fixing the tire, he told me he would drive up in two weeks and bring the money and play basketball with me Saturday morning.  I didn’t hear from him for about two months until today when his wife emailed the following

“Hi, this is Ben Pxxxx's wife, the man you helped a couple months ago with his tire. 

He asked me to email you because he got in a car accident, luckily he is fine but he lost his job and things have been crazy, as you know our baby girl and I are in Mexico and he hasn't been able to come down yet.  He talks about you so much what a kind person you are and I wanted to thank you for helping my husband when nobody else did, I'm so grateful he found you, this world would be a different one if we all were like you. He is also very ashamed because he hasn't paid back but of course as soon as he gets up in his feet again, we will contact you for this. “

I wrote back thanking her for the email and that it meant a lot to me and that to tell Ben to get better and when he is able to pay me back to pay me back then.    In the meantime, focus on being positive and doing all you can for your girl.  

She was very happy and sent a picture of the girl and baby.

So why did I help him?  He really didn’t ask me for money or a tire or much.  He actually turned down my offer for food at Costco.   I guess I recalled from studying with Rabbi Zalmy how everything in this world is preordained by God   The only way we can change the the sequence of how events are going to unfold is when we go out of our way to do a mitzvah.  He gave me an example - If you were driving our car and see someone with a flat and drove on, that whole series of event was predetermined long ago by God.  But if you stop to help out, you changed the course of those predetermined events.

What do you think?  Would you have done something like that?