Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I eat fish now...
The New Man In My House
Set ups and numbers passed by friends.
Surfing the Internet for a match.
Some came to meet me, but never called again.
In a parking lot, we met on a whim,
his truck caught my eye.
We struck up a conversation; he said he was free.
We exchanged emails and calls until we honestly knew we were ready to commit.
Like a package I ordered and thought was lost in the mail,
I had expectations of his arrival dogged by doubt.
So, shocked and elated when he arrived at my door on X-mas day.
Wearing faded jeans and a warm smile,
I felt the trust between us and welcomed him in.
He wasted no time in stripping things down;
he was aggressive yet calm and caring.
Things moved RAPIDLY, INTENSELY and unexpected NOISELY.
When the dust finally settled, I was left all aglow
for my dreams had become a reality.
We shared so much time together and he made such a difference in my life.
But after 2 ½ months, he said it was time to say goodbye.
The lights were on, the paint dried, the toilet flushed, the tile was set.
The bathroom remodels were complete.
I will miss my Contractor.
But I have his card, for the future
when the house, and I, need more attention.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Brodyz go to Six Flags - Magic Mountain
Once upon a time there were three kids named Riva, Judah, and Shira. Dad promised to take them to the zoo. So off to the zoo they went. But when they go there, it was closed. Dad gave them an envelope. They opened it and in it was tickets for Six Flags at Magic Mountain. Dad shared his birthday money to take the kids there and they had a blast.....
Thursday, February 15, 2007
A Great Santa Barbara Purim Shpiel!
Santa Barbara Purim Shpiel
by Julie Ehrnstein
Narrator: Once there was one bad dude name Big A. He was the baddest dude in his entire hood, including
One night he had a rockin’ party for all his homies. At the same time his main squeeze, Vashti was having a chick party.
These parties were so rockin’ that all the homies stayed for a whole week.
Big A (Big A): Yo dudes! Where’s my woman? She needs to come here and show my homies just how hot my squeeze is.
Vashti (V): Heck no!
Big A: Yo! My woman’s dissin’ me this aint cool!
Homie #1: Yo man! You better find a new woman. If your woman starts dissin’ you then all our women are going to start dissin us!
Big A: Yo V! You better just chill. I’m going to find a woman who knows how to respect her man.
Homie #2: And all you other chicks better not start dissin your men or they’ll leave you too!
Narrator: So, like two days later A got over it. Now he was lonely and needed a new chick.
Big A (to one of is homies): Dude, I need a new chick, should we cruise
Homie #3: No way dude, have another party and only invite all the cute chicks in the hood. Then you get the pick of the litter.
Homie #2 (to thegroup): Yo, women, we’re havin another rockin party, and all you cuties are invited.
Narrator: In the hood lived a Jewish man named Mordechai. His cousin was Esther and she was super cute! Her parents died when she was little so Mordechai raised her.
Homie #2: Yo, Esther is totally a cutie, she needs to go to this party.
Mordechai: Esther, don’t let anyone know that you’re a Jew.
Narrator: Esther was totally tricked out and went to the party. As soon as A saw her he knew that she was the one.
Two total geeks were miffed because they were not invited to the party.
Bigthan: Dude, that Big A is a complete idiot. I can’t believe he didn’t invite two cool dudes like us to his party.
Teresh: What a loser. Let’s thrash him!
Narrator: Mordechai told Esther about the geeks’ plan to thrash Big A. She told Big A and he got two of his Homies to call the geeks’ parents to come get them.
One of Big A’s tightest Homies was Haman.
Homie #2: Yo, everyone, Big A says that you need to pay Haman $20 if you want to stay at the party.
Narrator: But Mordechai refused to pay.
Homie #3: Dude, what’s your problem, fork it over.
Mordechai: I’m a Jew. We don’t pay to party.
Narrator: From that day, Haman d all the Jews, He decided that no Jews could hang with Big A and his Homies. He went to tell Big A.
Haman: Hey man, there are Jews all over the hood and they won’t pay to party. They have their own parties and party for free. They should not be allowed to hang with us. I’ll give you all the cash I collected if you let me be in charge.
Big A: No sweat dude, here’s the remote for the stereo, keep your cash.
Homie #2: Yo, everyone, in two weeks all Jews need to leave the hood.
Big A: Hey man, grab me a Stoli.
Narrator: When Mordechai heard that all of the Jews had to leave the warm hood of
Esther’s friend: Hey friend, your cousin Mordechai is dressed like he’s going to the snow.
Esther: Bring him these board shorts and flip flops.
Narrator: But Mordechai would not take the new clothes.
Mordechai: Big A has said that all the Jews need to leave the hood. You need to set that dude straight.
Esther: There’s no talking to that man. All he ever does is listen to his Ipod and chill with the football game.
Mordechai: Girlfriend, he’s going to make you leave too!
Esther: Alright, I’ll try, but all the Jews need to stop surfing for three days. My friends and I will also not surf.
Narrator: Three days later Esther went to see Big A. She caught him during commercials and when he saw her he took off his headphones.
Big A: Yo woman, what do you need? You know I’d do anything for you.
Esther: I want you and Haman to come to a party.
Big A: Cool.
Narrator: Big A and Haman went to Esther’s party. It rocked. Big A asked what else Esther would like.
Esther: All I want is for Big A and Haman to come back and party again.
Big A: Totally cool.
Narrator: When Haman left the party he was stoked. He knew that Big A’s main squeeze thought he was cool. On his way home he ran in to Mordechai. He asked him for the $20 and Mordechai refused. Haman called up the Santa Barbara Airbus and chartered a bunch of busses to take the Jews away.
That night Big A could not sleep.
Big A: Dude, I know I’m forgetting something and I can’t sleep. Check my to do list.
Homie #3: It says here that you forgot to thank Mordechai for telling you about those geeks who wanted to thrash you.
Big A: Dang! I knew there was something I forgot. Yo, Haman what do you think I should do for a dude who protected me from a thrashing?
Narrator: Haman thought Big A was talking about him.
Haman: Oh dude! I’d get him a new ride, hook him up with some hot chicks, and buy him some rockin’ stuff for his crib.
Big A: That’s cool. Do that for Mordechai.
Narrator: Haman was miffed.
Big A and Haman went to Esther’s second party.
Big A: Esther, this party is so sweet that I’ll do anything for you. What do you want?
Esther: Someone’s trying break us up. Please don’t let him.
Big A: Who?
Esther: That two-timer, Haman. He’s chartered the SB Airbus to take Mordechai and me away.
Big A: Are you messin” with me? Yo, Haman you’re outta here dude. I want you on that bus. Mordechai you are now my tightest homie.
From now on, we are going to have the hugest rockin party every year at this time and call it Purim. We’ll all bring awesome munchies and no one will have to pay.
All: COOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!
Monday, February 05, 2007
The Santa Barbara Priority
New book by Bryant Wieneke called "The Santa Barbara Priority" is released. Jana's artwork grace the cover and I'm in it. You can buy the book at Barnes & Noble (link below) or Amazon. I played a guy name Eric Bossen.Read some of the excerpt from the book below:
"What do you know about Eric Bossen" Perez finally asked.
"The computer guy at PTP? Why do you want to know about him?"
"While you were away, we looked at John Tuttle's and Shanna Thompson's comptuer files, and ..."
"You looked in their computer files?"
"They're suspects in a terrorist plot. Of course we're going to look in their computer files."
"They're American who haven't done anything wrong. What give you the right to look through their computer files?"
"The Patriot Act, that's what," Perez replied sharply. "Not to mention common sense..."
..."Eric seems like a great guy," Kendall finally replied. "He's tall, black hair and glasses, though I think he said he was having lasik surgery so he wouldn't need glasses anymore. He likes to play basketball, but I have no idea how good he is. He's big enough, however. And he's hearing impaired, so he needs to read lips in a conversation. It may be one of the reasons he so good at computer stuff because he can communicate so easily and effortlessly in that way, but that just me playing amateur psycholoigst."
..."He seems normal, Jason. He has excellent computer skills that he applying at a non-profit agency where he's probably making a lot less than he could elsewhere. He seems to care about other people - not jsut Americans - and wants to save them from proverty and disease. He seems like a decent person, and I like him." He paused momentarily, then continued. "There is one thing about him, however, that makes me suspicious."
"What's that?"
"He's a Minnesota Vikings fan. Now I don't know about you, but I think that very odd for someone in California. It's one thing to be a Lakers fan, since that franchise moved here from Minnesota, but the Vikings?"
Perez did not react in any way to Kendall's flippancy. He merely...
Read more about it at http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9781425724368&itm=1
Oh sh..t
"Oh Sh.t" Riva said.
"What do you say" Jana asked?
"Shira said 'Riva'" Riva replied.
"No, what do you say?" Jana asked.
"Oh...oops..."
God put you on this planet to...
"God put you on this planet to do what?"
Judah said "to celebrate the Jewish Holidays!" and Riva said "to help people and to be part of the circle of life"
They sure know more about life than many adults do.
